Sunday, April 15, 2012
What will Jesus think?
I auditioned for the first time at a local university yesterday, and it was a nerve-wracking process, especially for a naturally-shy person like me. My main instrument is piano, which I have taken for ten years, but I have really wanted to develop my voice, so I auditioned in voice. I have only taken voice lessons a little longer than a month; I felt foolish and stupid when they asked me who my choir director was. I had to tell them that I've never been in choir because I'm homeschooled, and they looked shocked that I would even think of auditioning in voice with so little experience. As I sang the two songs that I had prepared, four professors scribbled notes furiously on their clipboards. And as I sang, I imagined what they must be writing: "student has poor control of airflow," "student's voice is weak", "student has low quality," and "THIS GIRL THINKS SHE CAN SING?!!" Of course, the more I imagined, the worse I got and I rushed through my songs. My mind turned to mush, and I couldn't concentrate on the sight-singing tests. All of the professors were encouraging and polite, even helpful, but I couldn't settle my nerves in front of them because I knew they were judging my abilities and I knew that I was lacking. Afterward, I thought that maybe that is a mild version of what it will be like when we go before Jesus. He is the kindest judge ever, but we will feel so inadequate in His presence. As we stand before Him, we will probably think about all of the things we could have done to be better prepared, and we will be ashamed at our ignorance and lack of experience. So one good thing from that embarrassing audition is that I realized my inadequacy before Jesus. If He came today, I would only be able to hang my head in shame because of my wasted life. I determined to be better prepared, and although I can never be entirely what I should be in this life, I am going to strive to make the biggest difference I can. I want to hear Jesus say to me, "Well done, thou good and faithful servant."